Transitioning through Life Stages

In the past month I have experienced two graduations (our eldest from college and youngest from high school) and all four of our young adult children coming home for the summer. While I love listening to their voices as they excitedly share their personal lives with one another, a surprise feeling has emerged that I hadn’t planned on: Ambivalence. I am thrilled for their independence and pride in finding job opportunities and yes, even facing an occasional let down and yet I know that it will be eerily quiet here in the Fall. I am slowly accepting that this is what we raised them to do and this moment is not about me. The fact that all four have jobs and two have internships is a miracle considering what is happening in Indiana and the job markets. I discovered something else about all of this. The reasons moms and dads end up appropriately letting go of their young adults is actually because we are Tired. Anyone that knows me well will be thrilled to hear this because I can sometimes tire others out with my ongoing motor.
Looking back I now understand why my Mom was on the couch late at night when I came in and why she looked so exhausted. It was because she was exhausted. Between my father’s snoring (which today would be diagnosed as sleep apnea within five minutes) and my tendency to stay out late was probably what turned her hair snow white. I often send my appreciation up to her towards heaven and wish that she and Dad were here to see their grandchildren and their accomplishments in person. I often think of Mom driving us home from the mall late at night when she had to be worn out and my father working second shift at a factory after he had already put in a full day on the farm. Thankfully they were alive when I was married and a successful nursing manager, but they didn’t get to experience their grandchildren and they certainly didn’t get to experience life at home when the kids had grown and were all gone.
I am starting to think of things that I would like to do with my additional time next year. I am adding tennis lessons or at least more playing time to the list as well as piano lessons. I would eventually like to play a songbook that doesn’t have color codes or numbers above the notes. I would like to visit my children and be able to listen and celebrate their new experiences with them. I am planning on starting a group that will nourish other parents that are in the same stage of life and are wondering what lies ahead. I think that if we keep our eyes and ears open we will find our way. I am one that doesn’t want to over think all of this because I will miss being in the moment if I do. I know that by coaching other parents, I will continue to be challenged and amazed. What would my Mom and Dad do with their extra time? I think they would sit down and drink a lemonade in the afternoon under one of the shady maple trees or perhaps take an afternoon drive around the area to see what was happening on the other farms. They delighted in the simple things that present themselves everyday but sometimes go unnoticed. They would discuss the things that perplex or worry them. They would be thankful.