WHERE OH WHERE HAS THE SUMMER GONE?

It happens every year. By the first of August most of the moms that I know are feeling a little ambivalent. The ambivalence revolves around a sense of loss, guilt, and appreciation or at least mine does. The feeling of loss comes from the reality that one more summer has come and gone and the stage at which our family is at will be “no more”. I was always one of those Moms crying as the bus sped off down the road on the first day of school. I enjoyed walking down our lane to the rising sun and the sound of the neighbors roosters crowing. As our children started going to different schools we began driving and we would routinely stop by a field to entertain neighboring Holstein cows. The kids learned how to “call” the cows from the car and to take a minute to say hello to them. Thankfully the farmer never felt threatened or bothered by us. I can only hope that the loving attention increased their milk production. We would pray for everyone’s day during those car rides and it helped to set the tone for a fun, productive, and fruitful day.
My sense of loss comes from not having those moments any longer and that my kids, now grown into young adults are all beginning and ending their school days on their own. I appreciate that they have chosen to follow their dreams and have a “good” head on their shoulders. I especially appreciate that I had those moments with them. I know that many parents are not as fortunate to have times like the “cow” experience. I also appreciate the fact that they are all healthy and able to head off to college to build their own lives. We have been very fortunate with our family’s sense of love, support, and memories.
So where does the quilt come in? Is it that perhaps we have allowed opportunities to go unseen or utilized? Did we play enough? Did we listen enough? I know our family laughed enough. Our meal times run an average of an hour and never once did we ever sit in silence? Usually politics, history, and religion somehow managed to seep into the conversations. For some mothers, the quilt comes in when they realize that they are ready for the kids to return to some sort of schedule. For others it is when they realize that they didn’t follow through with what they said they would do over the summer. For some it is when they realize that they don’t like the stage that their family is in. I am not feeling much guilt right now. I feel pretty good that my husband and I are doing the best we can. I cherish every time I hear my kid’s voices together. I am a little scared about this fall when my husband and I will most likely scare one another to death in the big yellow albatross of a house. I guess I could start feeling guilty for not feeling guilty but that would take way too much energy. I am tired after this summer. Perhaps I will sleep more this Fall, aha, I will get more sleep and have lots of energy.

Have a peaceful transition into your Fall!